i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
