Operation Purity has been aborted
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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