my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
