I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize