On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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