I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize