No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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