I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
