my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
