i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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