do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
