my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
