I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
