did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
and she was petting her beer can
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
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Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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