I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
