Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
