This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
whose parrot is this?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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