Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I want to kish your cheek

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My cheeks are in Michigan

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Oh my lips are kind of stretchy

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  (301): I want to kish your cheek (248): My cheeks are in Michigan (301): Oh my lips are kind of stretchy http://tfl.nu/4fba
  Replies (4) Good night (2160) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.

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  (513): I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear. http://tfl.nu/d8gq
  Replies (31) Good night (1055) Bad night (11442)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you

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  (303): you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you http://tfl.nu/wspo
  Replies (15) Good night (5562) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.

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  (617): She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her. http://tfl.nu/sdzd
  Replies (13) Good night (5806) Bad night (1578)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  you dipped you banana in queso last night.

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  (912): you dipped you banana in queso last night. http://tfl.nu/375m
  Replies (7) Good night (910) Bad night (1705)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct

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  (860): I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct http://tfl.nu/jyp0
  Replies (3) Good night (1786) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!

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  (518): Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top! http://tfl.nu/ukef
  Replies (1) Good night (1587) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.

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  (801): We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form. http://tfl.nu/5xht
  Replies (4) Good night (1143) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.

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  (614): I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together. http://tfl.nu/yozh
  Replies (6) Good night (1192) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.

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  (727): We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol. http://tfl.nu/xk91
  Replies (5) Good night (1779) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.

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  (205): i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets. http://tfl.nu/hykz
  Replies (3) Good night (1227) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.

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  (989): If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals. http://tfl.nu/so0f
  Replies (8) Good night (1200) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.

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  (954): My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here. http://tfl.nu/r8im
  Replies (0) Good night (540) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!

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  (805): GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?! http://tfl.nu/avuc
  Replies (4) Good night (493) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis

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  (602): Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis http://tfl.nu/4x5t
  Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (315)

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