Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now

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(925): View more from California

he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look

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(905): View more from Toronto

you alive?

(1-905): View more from Toronto

ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin

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(989): View more from Michigan

News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.

(1-989): View more from Michigan

Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.

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(607): View more from New York

I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.

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(716): View more from New York

I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.

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