peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO