Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?

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  (631): Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up? http://tfl.nu/k005
  Replies (56) Good night (6696) Bad night (1484)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it

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  (404): we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it http://tfl.nu/n2gi
  Replies (31) Good night (1116) Bad night (9050)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.

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  (415): Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle. http://tfl.nu/saxv
  Replies (7) Good night (3842) Bad night (1261)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.

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  (702): I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave. http://tfl.nu/8hoe
  Replies (17) Good night (3779) Bad night (1585)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.

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  (269): I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax. http://tfl.nu/b5v2
  Replies (5) Good night (2744) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence

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  (614): I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence http://tfl.nu/48zv
  Replies (3) Good night (1612) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.

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  (715): Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration. http://tfl.nu/envu
  Replies (4) Good night (1424) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice

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  (920): I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice http://tfl.nu/vmg8
  Replies (5) Good night (988) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time

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  (860): It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time http://tfl.nu/gqs4
  Replies (1) Good night (676) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  this st patricks day sucks

  (815): View more from Illinois

  ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles

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  (630): this st patricks day sucks (815): ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles http://tfl.nu/aosd
  Replies (1) Good night (638) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast

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  (940): I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast http://tfl.nu/e3ki
  Replies (8) Good night (606) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.

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  (315): I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse. http://tfl.nu/rzpq
  Replies (6) Good night (817) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.

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  (314): You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick. http://tfl.nu/dywr
  Replies (1) Good night (1076) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you

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  (901): You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you http://tfl.nu/s46c
  Replies (1) Good night (276) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.

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  (480): Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me. http://tfl.nu/3nkv
  Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (120)

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