were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.