Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.

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(905): View more from Ontario

ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care

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(704): View more from North Carolina

It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.

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(914): View more from New York

say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(602): View more from Arizona

Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.

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(914): View more from New York

He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?

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(406): View more from Montana

So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together

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