I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
