Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true

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  (616): its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true http://tfl.nu/528i
  Replies (4) Good night (1798) Bad night (1200)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  doesn't he have a GF?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  that just means you have to try harder.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...

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  (808): doesn't he have a GF? (248): that just means you have to try harder. (248): i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or... http://tfl.nu/1qgm
  Replies (5) Good night (1113) Bad night (572)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I just threw up on my dentist

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  (603): I just threw up on my dentist http://tfl.nu/4tee
  Replies (20) Good night (929) Bad night (3232)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  gross she's a slut

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  yea she doesn't shave either

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  (612): dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear (952): gross she's a slut (612): yea she doesn't shave either http://tfl.nu/93ck
  Replies (31) Good night (838) Bad night (4011)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk

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  (301): Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk http://tfl.nu/lzse
  Replies (20) Good night (5766) Bad night (672)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter

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  (830): I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter http://tfl.nu/xpn7
  Replies (33) Good night (6429) Bad night (1847)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.

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  (727): You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her. http://tfl.nu/lj37
  Replies (3) Good night (971) Bad night (2583)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.

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  (813): Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant. http://tfl.nu/yfmm
  Replies (7) Good night (1323) Bad night (816)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.

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  (330): okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important. http://tfl.nu/wfir
  Replies (6) Good night (1341) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?

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  (425): My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities? http://tfl.nu/eeu5
  Replies (14) Good night (1361) Bad night (485)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%

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  (778): Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25% http://tfl.nu/4mvy
  Replies (5) Good night (1113) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.

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  (812): I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed. http://tfl.nu/eaqv
  Replies (1) Good night (541) Bad night (1376)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio

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  (651): Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio http://tfl.nu/cnyx
  Replies (6) Good night (979) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.

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  (778): She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant. http://tfl.nu/9heo
  Replies (12) Good night (1843) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.

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  (630): He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me. http://tfl.nu/kvrj
  Replies (13) Good night (1396) Bad night (608)

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