Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm gonna fight the coyote
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
