Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
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Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
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Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together