He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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