the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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