I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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