she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
