Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
