I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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