Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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