in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
