Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
