i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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