My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
