yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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