Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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