"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
