It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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