The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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