one two three fourrrrnication!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
