How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
we're so committed to being not committed
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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