We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
