I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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