So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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