So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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