My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize