So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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