he wants to bone in the snuggie
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
