I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Is it penis luge time yet?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
