Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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