um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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