Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
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the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
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Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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