My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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