I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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