Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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