I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
