My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
too bad you live with your parents still
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
