The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
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I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
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There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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