So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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