she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Is that strawberry winking at me??
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
