I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
jump out the window naked night went bad
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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