I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
