how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
