Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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