dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize