Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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