i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
