he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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